When you can’t find the words to say

Happy #NaBloPoMo everyone! As this is our first blog, the idea of one post per day is a bit overwhelming, but we are in for the challenge!

Today I want to call attention to a recent post by a fellow misophonia blogger, Hannah Jay. Hannah’s poem, “The Sound of My Heart Makes Me Want to Die” captures her feelings on living with misophonia.

I know you’re tapping your foot
And I know it’s because you’re feeling anxious
But right now you make me anxious
And I want to tear my hair out if I hear it anymore

This poem reminds me of how hard it is to put into words our daily struggles as we try to relay them to our friends and loved ones. I have been extremely fortunate to have people in my life who express understanding when I share my story, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t encountered indifference, ignorance, and just plain inability to comprehend the extent of my situation. It makes it hard to be vulnerable and open because the fear of not being understood and accepted is always lingering.

I am your modern Jekyll and Hyde

My ears are the portal to hell
And everyone around me creates my demise

And that fear only builds the longer you hold it in.

But my brain decided to play an evil game,
And the sounds I can catch only amplify on my head,
And my mom tells me I’m angry all the time while I plead:
“Shoot me now, just shoot me dead.
My ears are aching and your breathing is pushing me farther to the edge”.

Of course this is not just limited to misophonia—all of us experience pain and obstacles that we wish to share with others but just can’t seem to find the words. I’m not a gifted orator that’s for sure, but what’s nice about Hannah’s poem is that it has the opportunity to reach people beyond the essence of our everyday conversations and evoke true emotion and, possibly, empathy.

There’s something magical about the written word and it’s ability to make someone see what you see or feel what you feel. So maybe I’ll take a page from Hannah’s book and give poetry a chance.

What are other strategies that have worked for you? Let us know in the comments.

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2 thoughts on “When you can’t find the words to say

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